Men And Sex: What You Need To Know (feat. Lewis Howes)

I sat down with my friend Lewis Howes (host of the School Of Greatness podcast) to discuss why certain men become “eternal bachelors” and what this means for you as a woman in the dating scene. If you want to know how to spot which guys to date when it comes to finding commitment, you need to see this…

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39 Replies to “Men And Sex: What You Need To Know (feat. Lewis Howes)”

  • Hi Matt, thanks for this video. Lewis’ book sounds quite interesting. I think the most important take away from this video is what you said at the end…if we want to make a significant change in men’s behaviour, then as women, we need to stop rewarding the player types with our attention and instead let them see that the women they want to be with would actually prefer to be with a man who is interested in something more committed and real. It makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, this can be challenging when there is intense physical attraction or chemistry with the player type. At my age, (and someone is going to lash out at me for saying this, but…) most of the physically attractive good guys are taken, leaving only the player type eternal bachelors to choose from.

    I know physical attraction isn’t everything in a relationship, but without it, you have just another friend, and I already have lots of those :) So I end up interested in younger men who are not interested in anything real with me because of my age (over 40). I wish I could recalibrate my brain chemistry to be sexually attracted to a different set of physical traits than what is naturally programmed in our biology due to evolution. (And yes, occasionally people grow on me, but that has not worked out either). Anyway, I will try harder from now on not to give my time and attention to the eternal bachelors…if not for my own sake, then for the sake of the next generation. Let’s make a change. :)

  • Thank you sir! This was indeed a helpful video. I would also like to learn more about relationships and get good tips for my married life.

  • Dear Matthew,
    You are so incredible, thank you sooo much for making this video. I have been questioning this phenomena in ages and with your help Ive founded thousands of answers. This is the thing what nobody knows, so your friends can not give you an advice, nor even guys themselves can’t answer to this ”I want you to come and have a connection with me, but at the same time I’ll push you away” kinda behavior.
    Thank you again!

  • Thank you for clarifying this! I always thought maybe we needed to help and understand all men who have these masks. After having dated 3-4 chauvinists– I’m done. Emancipated, loving guys are hard to come by, but I’m attempting to throw out a wider net into the sea of love.

    Thank you Matthew!

  • This video really hits home for me. I have been in a “relationship” (that is, on a regular dating/sexual encounter schedule) with a man for almost 4 years, who does not want to commit. A few times I have heard him lament that he never really dated when he was younger, was a virgin until his late twenties, pretty much married his first love, etc., etc., basically feeling sorry for himself, as it he missed out on something. Also, shortly before we met, he did fall hopelessly in love for probably the first time ever, but the relationship did not work and eventually it dissolved. I don’t think he has ever really recovered from that experience, and so he holds back emotionally. Why do I keep seeing him? I don’t know how to explain it, really. I just can’t bear the thought of not having him in my life. I should be smarter than this–I have a wonderful career, a supportive family, so why can’t I just walk away?

  • Thanks for being you&doing what you are doing Matt.

    You and Lewis are teaching incredible insight.
    LoVe Lewis’s ‘The school of greatness’.

    Check it out lovely peeps.

  • Matt I enjoyed the conversation. Thanks for the insight into an issue with me that is so profound and can be hurtful to women.

  • , I’m a huge fan of your work matt, seeing Lewis was a bonus as I love his work too. Cannot wait to see you guys live someday X

  • Thank you, Matthew. I am looking forward to reading that book. This video rocked. I do have to say, you need to put those freaking thighs away. Good lord, man. I was trying to be studious and a proper lady being attentive. Stop that. Put those away. As you mention in your book, I am DEFINITELY not supposed to see you like that. ;-) Wowzers. Always great to see your videos. Miss you all. I need to get to another retreat, stat.

  • Loved watching the video as i am currently in this situation right now. I jave reconnected with a man that i used to know many years ago. Upon our first meeting we talked about our past relationships. Why am i not with my husband anymore and why is he still single. It was make not so clear to me that he was with someone and she up and broke things off outta the blue and is now married to someone else.
    I believe he felt love for this person and she broke his heart. The issue now is we get along so well have lots in common but he will not give me anymore than casual encounters. I feel he has put a wall up and is afraid of getting hurt. Now i have 2 choices. I can stay and accept only casual encounters with this man or i can walk away. The problem i have with walking away is i know one day i am going hear that all of a sudden he is in a relationship with someone and it will be with someone who is totally not right for him and i will be sitting there thinking. Why was i not good enough for that relationship. So i essentially feel like i am stuck between a rock and a hars place because i want more which i dont get but i love being with him when we do get together and i dont want to loose that. Any advice you can offer would be great.

  • All I can say is Jesus hit the nail on the head! Truely opened my eyes! Great bonus to have Lewis and another male perspective. Great team work in this video. Loved it!

  • Recognized that mask in a guy I used to date as you two discussed it. Thank you for bringing my attention to this book. I will buy it (is there an affiliate’s link to it here somewhere?). For the first time Ever, Friday night I met a kind short available guy my age with his s*** together, and I credit you with my recognizing him. Thanks for the work you do. You really make a difference.

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