5 Unexpected Benefits Of Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are tough to make work.

When you’re apart from the person you love, it can make you crave them more than ever.

Or worse, you can begin to forget why you enjoy the relationship in the first place. Or you just get sad wondering what events in their life you’re currently missing out on.

couple saying goodbye on train

However, there is hope.

There are 5 unexpected benefits of long-distance relationships, which I’ll outline in this article.

If you can get through your period of long-distance, you have a chance of coming out the other side stronger and more deeply in love than ever before.

So let’s look at the positives…

1. You get a clear view of whether the relationship is worth it

couple standing on the earth

Although a long distance means you don’t get to spend enough time in each other’s company, it does also mean that when you do finally reunite to spend quality time in person, you see very quickly whether the relationship is worth the wait.

If you end up only seeing each other once every 3 months, but then find yourselves arguing and getting frustrated with one another when you finally reunite in-the-flesh, then you know that this relationship isn’t for you in the long-term. 

2. It makes you plan ahead for the future

When you live in a separate country or city to your partner, it forces you to plan a little more ahead into the future and think about what you REALLY want.

Do you want to move from your current home to be closer together? Does one of you plan to change their careers in order for you to end the long distance? What are you willing to give up for this person?

You find out very soon what sacrifices you’re willing to make and how you both see the future, which lets you know if you’ll ultimately be compatible in the long-term. If you both act as a team, you can overcome this challenge and love each other all the more for having truly put in the effort to make it work. 

3. You really appreciate your time together

man hugging girlfriend in the snow

Most couples take their alone time for granted, especially when they spend every weekday and weekend just hanging out and going through the normal routines.

When you’re doing a long distance relationship, you learn how to make the moments together really count.

You plan romantic dates for when you get to see each other, you think of sweet gifts, you fill your bedroom with all their favorite things before they come to visit, you write love notes and come to cherish physical closeness.

You learn to appreciate everything about your partner and work on creating wonderful memories together in those brief times you get to meet in person.

4. You learn independence

Many people use their relationships as shelter from having to build a real social life. But when you’re in a long distance relationship, you no longer have that excuse.

You have to invest real time away from your partner to build a life with meaning outside of them. And that’s healthy. It means you have interests, hobbies, friendships, and work that enrich your life and enhance what you can bring to your relationship.

This stops you from losing yourself and killing the “spark” in your relationship – when you don’t solely rely on your partner to give you connection, you have more confidence and inner happiness which makes you a better girlfriend.

5. You become better at communicating your feelings

couple talking on video chat

When your relationship is restricted to Skype calls and Whatsapp, you start to learn the value of honest and real communication.

You learn all kinds of things about your partner from hours of conversations, and what’s more, you establish a true emotional closeness that can be hard to create when you’re doing the usual day-to-day activities together that couples who live together do.

It takes time and patience, but you begin to learn your partner’s feelings and you can really practice getting to understand every part of their character by setting aside quality “phone dates” where you discuss your day, your dreams, and your deepest feelings.

So while long distance is often a tough place to be, it can have unexpected benefits for when you finally close the gap. Take heart from this next time you’re despairing about not being able to be together 24/7.

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8 Replies to “5 Unexpected Benefits Of Long Distance Relationships”

  • In an ideal world with ideal partners – strongly committed and know where it is going before the distance happens – yes. Otherwise it’s a waste of time and effort because the relationship happens mostly in your head and you end up with missaligned expectations that left both hopelessly misunderstood. The relationship in short is not real, and you are trapped in la la land breaking your own heart.

  • well dude, I have a curly one for you… I certainly haven’t experienced any of the long distance relationship benefits you are talking about. Not because they are wrong, I totally believe they are what’s possible. But this dude… I moved my life over to be with, I never EVER thought I’d be that woman. Now we live in separate places just because we both got amazing and different job opportunities. But we’re at breaking point.. there’s a language barrier and he’s a poor emotional communicator anyway. weekends exactly mean bailing out on our own communities and careers… I still love him to pieces, but it’s just not coming together. How long do you try???

  • My relationship has actually started out with long-distance. We first started talking while living in different states. I was already planning on moving to the state he lives in, which is why we met. And now I’m actually moving into a training program that happens to take place in the same city he’s been living in.
    We’ll be living 1/3 the distance as we have been the last 3 months, but we still won’t be able to see each other whenever we want. He works a lot and now he works nights and I’m probably gonna be so busy trying to take advantage of everything this program has to offer. I won’t even be able to see him the first couple weeks I’m living there and he won’t be allowed on the campus, plus I’ll have a curfew.
    We’re slowly closing that distance gap, but depending on what I do when I’m finished up with this program in about a year from now, that gap may become greater again if I move out of state.
    What’s important is that I’m not putting myself on hold just because I have feelings for a guy.

  • The LDR was going so well until Corona hit.
    Then international travel was impossible, and he does not like video calls, and date nights have faded away. And as he returned back to work, I felt squeezed out.

    I found it hard to continue as there was no ‘next visit’ known to look forward to.
    So I asked if we could continue our dates virtually.

    He seems not to respect that I want just a little something once a fortnight to look forward to.

    And wants to put things on hold until travel becomes easier. He’s ultra patient. I’m less so.

    Am I right to ask to plan the odd date (in lieu of a visit) or end things, because it hurts to pretend to be together. But then not do anything?

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