Confidence is often sold as a mysterious, intangible, sacred object – something that is almost like a superpower that some have and others don’t.
The truth is – confidence is best thought of something that is earnt.
If people have blind confidence in things they can’t do, that’s just delusion.
True confidence is telling ourselves, “I have the tools to figure this out. And I’ll also be able to pull off something great even if I don’t”.
The funny thing about confidence is that we can gain or lose it over our lives depending on how we act.
If there’s one lesson to remember: Confidence tends to flow from action.
We need reference points. If we’re going to believe we can climb an enormous wall, we’re going to be more confident if we’ve practiced, if we’ve trained our body, if we packed the right gear and have a plan.
So it goes with life: confidence is having a plan.
With this all said, when trying to understand confidence, there are some rules to remember:
1. You can’t buy your way into confidence
Many think that they will feel confident if only they have the right things: status, money, friends, success, the right relationship…but on their own these things become ways of simply hiding a lack of self-esteem behind other achievements.
Core confidence has to be about MORE than simply believing in our abilities: it’s also about believing in our worth.
2. Confidence isn’t something you can magically think yourself into
You can try every affirmation in front of the mirror you like. And it might even help. But if it doesn’t inspire you to make the next move then it doesn’t matter.
Confidence has to be backed by some kind of movement. It needs you to execute – to do what’s in your heart, to be able to take the difficult path you know you must to move forward.
If in doubt, remember: motion leads to confidence.
3. Confidence doesn’t come in one giant leap – it comes in steps
Confidence isn’t a pill we can take that transforms our brain like the movie Limitless. It’s more like a journey where we have to face fears, brave storms, scale mountains and battle orcs (ok fine, it’s Lord of the Rings), only to get to the end and realise we had everything we needed the whole time.
Put simply, it doesn’t happen all at once.
Confidence begins when we do a few simple things:
- Keep promises to ourselves
- Take the next best step
- Live according to our values
- Contribute to others
- Face our doubts
- Focus on something bigger than ourselves
And we can do something every single day to build our fortress of confidence. Something for our mind, something for our body, something for our goals, something for our relationships.
If you’d like to join us on that journey, and do something for YOUR confidence this month, join us on our 30-Day Confidence Challenge. You’ll get to join an amazing group of people where you can do missions together, share successes and struggles, and keep yourself accountable for your goals.
Go to MHChallenge.com and get ready to start!