This blog is a little off-road compared with the usual love life stuff.
I think it’s important that you continue to know the REAL me through all the craziness that’s happening right now. The me that can get stressed, frustrated, fearful, and have to deal with all the same emotions you do. I’ve said it before, I don’t see this as just some brand, I see it as a community that I love being part of. I come here to connect with you. I don’t always write the articles I think will be most popular, or get the most views. I want them to have heart.
This month as most of you know I’m gearing up for the release of my TV show on NBC. And I’m nervous.
I’m not nervous in the “Oh god I can’t do this” kind of way. More in the sense that it looks like something big is coming and it’s hard to anticipate what that means. In the world I’m in right now, everyone sits you down and tells you about the opportunities that are coming. Everyone tells you about how HUGE you’re going to be. Everyone says what a crazy ride it’s going to be. It’s very ‘LA’.
Here’s the newest trailer for the show:
Crazy isn’t it?
It’s a little strange for me to hear all these things. I tend to have two thoughts.
First, my instinct is to not believe them. Not because I’m pessimistic, but because I don’t tend to get excited about things that haven’t happened, or that are uncertain. I have always had a kind of ‘underdog’ mentality. Over the years I’ve had to fight for credibility, clients, the lifestyle I want, and to be taken seriously (i.e. “Who does this KID think he is?! I’ve been a psycho-analytical-timeline-regression-therapist-NLP-hypnosis-doublebackflip-certified coach for 63 years… what does he know?!”).
Since I’ve had to fight for it, I don’t trust wild claims about things that MIGHT happen. I trust what actually happens.
Second, I actually have a fear of it going well. I’m a pretty private person – and though many don’t believe me when I say this, I’m naturally an introvert. The idea of ‘fame’ is something that scares me. Right now I can go pretty much anywhere and do anything and I’m not going to be recognised (at least not enough to worry about).
Chances are in one month that will no longer be the case.
Right now in your life you may have the same ‘fear of the unknown’. If you do, try to remember what I am trying to remember right now:
That you will work hard to impact the areas you can control, and that most of life is made up of things you can’t.
We feel powerless and afraid when we focus on all of the things that we have no power over. To use a GetTheGuy related example – a woman focused on the fact that she hasn’t met her ideal partner yet – if she focuses on the negative comment she just got from somebody, or the fact that a guy isn’t calling back, she will feel powerless and afraid.
This is a recipe for paralysis.
In my own life, I’m about to receive more hate, more negative comments, and more misinterpretation of my character than I ever have. If I thought I had haters before, it’s going to be 1,000X anything I’ve experienced. If I focus on what they are going to say I will feel powerless and afraid.
I also begin to feel this when I focus on there being more to do before the show airs than can possibly be accomplished.
But in life, 90% of happiness is perspective, not the landscape.
That means we get to choose what we focus on. If the woman in our example above looked at all of the things she could do to influence her situation – go out, meet people, learn how to flirt, build an attractive lifestyle, work on her confidence, bring new friends into her life – she would realise that there are so many exciting things she has power over.
In my life, if I focus on speaking with passion and conviction about the things I know, I become impervious to the haters.
If I look at what I can do in the next three weeks and simply focus on doing that, I will become empowered.
The last step in all of this is acceptance. I can’t do this justice in one article, but acceptance is essential to happiness. If I look at my situation and say “There is so much to do in the next 3 weeks, some of which I can do and a whole lot that is impossible to finish”, I will sleep at night. But as long as I am beating myself up for not being able to do what 10 men couldn’t do, I will feel powerless, afraid, and most of all, worthless.
(You may have realised by now that this article is as much a reminder to myself as it is to you.)
Focus on what you CAN do,
be kind to yourself for doing it…
…then kick back and welcome the unknown.
Love ,
Matthew x
(Photo credit: Ecstaticist)
Cheering for you, Matthew! For all of the support and positive energy you put out into the world, you deserve it all back ten-fold. I’ll be watching!
I love how authentic you are, Matt. Just keep being exactly what you are no matter what level of fame. You already are famous to all of the people you have impacted. You’re only going to positively impact more lives. Can’t wait for the show!
Fantastic article!
The articulation of your feelings was very relateble!
Thank you, you deserve the crazyness!! :)
Dear Hero of Lovelives!
HELP! Is it possible to watch your show online ? Cuz I don’t have a satellite TV… :( Or will you be posting the episodes here ?
Love,
Apple pie*
Dear Matthew.
I know what you mean, and it’s normal to be afraid.I also know , that after it’s over you will feel very proud and good about yourself. Life’s too short to not take opportunities,especially when you’re so special.Just remember not all people will love you,but that’s okay,because you won’t love everyone either.Now I know you know this , but I still want to say , that people like you are so rare and I’m very happy to know you exist.
A couple of months ago I didn’t even know who you were, and I’m so grateful I know you now.
By the way I’m from Georgia (the country) could you ever believe you would be known in Georgia? I love your videos,your tips and I’m always looking forward to watching/reading them .
with love
Anna
Matt, you are the guardian angle of so many people. You save a lot of us from fatality in the area of relationships.
The whole process of relationships is more a science than instinct and you have mastered it so well you’re like a freaking relationship Einstein.
Love you.
Enjoy the process because what you’re doing is your passion.
Criticism, negative comments, etc…listen to nothing except your heart. It will never go wrong when you follow it.
And don’t worry about having haters ‘cos even God has haters(although I can’t figure out the reason why).
By the way, being on the TV show is a recongnition that Matthew Hussey is indeed, a love guru. So yea, open your heart and arms to receive whatever comes your way. Things are gonna be GOOOD!! Hwaiting! ^^
Awesome article Matt! Just what I’ve been needing to read these days…
All the success in this new part of the journey :)
Wow!! This is just what I needed to read today. I’m by myself backpacking Cambodia and things have been going so wrong and I’ve been so discouraged ready to book a flight back to the US today. I need better perspective! I’m in a beautiful country on a chance in a lifetime trip. Even though things aren’t going as planned I can enjoy it and look at the positive. Thank you so much for writing this Matt :)
Hey Matt,
This is a nice change from your usual articles! It’s neat to have you open up and share your journey with us, and you do it with such sincerity- that’s a really awesome thing.
I watched the trailer for the television show and all I can say is,”fabulous”. I’m so excited for the show, and I wish you te best of luck!
Celine
Ready For Love, ahhhhhhhhhhhh seeing the way the women behave makes me cringe so I can not watch, good to see you putting them in their place so that’s a good thing for many of the women viewers to watch. Sadly they all look like barbie dolls.
Ready for Love – You are too good for this so do your own show next time with real people, take a look at Gok’s latest show getting real women back out there dating, you have so much varied experience to offer the nations women.
You will make a great match maker, I would trust my money with you, set up a match making network, not a dating website.
The bachelor was very tacky, all the decent women went out because they wouldn’t lie and scheme to stay at the top to be picked. Please bring real people together that behave with respect towards each other, that’s where love grows and lasts.
Sell your merchandise to America, but not yourself, you are lowering your integrity you have took so long to build, you have a good reputation. Come home and make your own shows and sell it to America and the rest of the world, then you are in control of the content. Keep it real on your track.
Remember Britain makes the best TV
Hi Matthew,
thank you for sharing.
The price is high but it is what you want. You won`t lose yourself in the process…you have… us and your other family :). And if I understand you..you don`t even need anyone. Go strong!!! x
Thank you. This article was posted just at the right time for me. I have been battling with health issues lately, and for the first time in my life I have spent 10 days in the hospital without the doctors having been able to figure out what my problem is. I feel in good hands, and their approach is very methodical. They tried to avoid surgery and do all kinds of tests beforehand. Next week I am home, and then I will have surgery. For a brief moment I got scared, because right now nobody can tell me whether I will need another surgery (I probably will), but then your article reminded me of what I can have control over: i.e. how I feel like now and what I do today and how I spend next week at home.
I have no control over the outcome of the surgery, I have no conrol over what happens after that, but I am with good doctors and I refuse to give up my sanity or to decline in gratitude. Some of my environment has tried to drive me nuts by saying “OMG, you must be so nervous….and how can this be possible that they do not find the cause…..”. No, I must not be nervous. This is bullshit. I refuse to allow to let other people tell me how I have to feel.
I am grateful that I live in a country where I have access to good doctors
I am grateful that they look at me thoroughly and carefully and discuss my case among different medical disciplines so that I get the best possible help.
I am grateful that the sun is shining and that I am free to do what I want next week.
I am greatful that I managed to enhance my fitness in the hospital by repeatedly climbing 9 floors, making even doctors turn pale. :-)
Hey Matthew,
Just wanted to say you should be so proud of yourself! What an amazing achievement. I have followed your writings for a while now, and watched your brand grow. I think it works because you are honest. I haven’t met someone yet but I don’t think your advice is about that for me….it’s about every part of my life…and the advice friends are too polite to say – like my Ice Queen default mode…anyway that is besides my point!
Congratulations!
Love Emily x
Dear Matthew,
I love your article.
All I can say is, let the nay sayers talk.
You are an extremely talented young man.
And you deserve all this. Your getting a new kind of recognition in America and it is a challenging one. But YOU and ONLY YOU can do it.
Your achievements are paying off.
It will all work out for the best.
One Love, Respect and Prosperity to you.
Hi Matthew,
I just watched the trailer to your new show. It strikes me as so “American” and fake, it’s not like you at all. You come across as a very genuine and positive person and I’ve found a lot of what you have to say about men and women and the whole world of dating and relationships to be very valuable or at least interesting and worth considering. This show seems to be a circus, and the women in it are being made ridiculous (or make themselves ridiculous). I don’t mean to be negative or to make you feel bad, on the contrary, I just think you’re way too good for this shallow American circus show of fake emotions.
Love, Caroline
Hey, breathe =]
Your going to be amazing no matter what you decide to do.
Forget what ever negative coments that come your way, this is a time of growth and discovery. So just have fun with it sexy man=p
-Best regards Sarah.
Hi Matthew,
I always read your articles with pleasure and every article helps me a bit more to find my way.
Everything you wrote in this article is so similar to how I feel atm.
I just found oout that my inernship has been cancelled(I have to find a new one within 10 days), I am extremely busy with my coursework( I am a designer in spe, so a lot of hard work) and people are expecting me to run while I want to walk. But after reading your blog I know that I can do everything as long as I don’t overwork myself. I can’t get everything done in one day, but I’ll get there eventually and people will just have to have to some patience ;)
Thank you so much for all the encouraging words every time, they help me so much!
Keep spreading the positivity!!
Hi mister Mat!
I know you got it all! Take a deep breathe and go for the gold! I will always support you :D ( until you have given me a reason not to lol ) I guess seeing you on tv will be almost like seeing you in person :) I wish you luck in everything :D