Sometimes a guy is being nice to you, but you’re still left wondering, “Does he like me?” or is this going to be a friendly-buddy thing.
He’ll be talking and connecting with you on your common interests, but you’re not sure whether he’s attracted, and you don’t want to risk rejection if you’ve read the signs wrong.
There is a big difference between a guy being a ‘nice’ guy and a guy being attracted to you.
It’s often the case that a nice guy will talk to you, but have no intention of making a move or getting your phone number.
So if you find yourself always struggling with how to tell if he likes you (in a “I-cant-wait-to-kiss-her” kind fo way), here are some easy ways to know if he’s serious or if he sees you as a friend.
1. He Comes Looking for You
Maybe you’re talking at a social gathering, and you get split up for a ten minutes to chat with your respective friends.
If he likes you, he’s going to come looking for you at a certain point and try to re-engage your attention, either with a comment thrown in your direction or just by starting a conversation. If he does this, or seems to keep orbiting around you, it means that he unconsciously wants to be near you and feels attraction.
2. He’ll Dig for Questions to Keep the Conversation Going
One great test of whether a guy likes you is to observe whether he keeps making attempts to pick up the conversation even if it looks like it’s running dry.
He may stumble around as he finds ways to keep asking questions, but it’s a blatant signal that he’s trying to keep you interested in what he has to say.
3. He Drops a Few “Subtle Brags”
No guy can resist trying to show off his best assets when he’s trying to impress a woman.
Hopefully he won’t do something really vulgar like talk about how much money he makes (though sadly some clueless men do just that!). More often, if he’s into you he’ll mention something he achieved recently that he’s proud of, or he’ll tell you about his career plans and how he’s currently living his dream job.
Yes, it might be a bit childish, but that’s kind of how guys are when they first realise they like a woman.
4. He Keeps Finding Your Eyes
If a guy isn’t interested in you romantically, he’ll tend to avoid heavy eye contact.
But if he likes you, he’ll keep finding his eyes drawn to yours and may even appear to be staring deeply into them whenever you’re talking.
What’s more, even if he’s in the other corner of the room and you haven’t even met yet, he’ll be irresistibly drawn to looking over in your direction multiple times. And believe me, you’ll notice him looking over.
(Pro Tip: guys aren’t subtle). If you keep spotting him doing this and can’t find a way to get into conversation, make sure you’re clued up and know how to get him to come and talk to you.
5. He Remembers What You Tell Him
Guys easily become fascinated with everything with you say when they feel that pull of attraction. They remember the tiniest details about where you live, your work, that holiday you’re planning that you told him about.
One of the simplest signs that he likes you is whether he remembers and brings up these little details in subsequent conversations, as it’s a crucial indicator that he’s storing away what you say to try and impress you.
Men are surprisingly attentive with the women whom they want to pursue.
6. He Apologizes if He Gets Interrupted
If his friends suddenly come and starts talking to him when you’re in conversation, he’ll quickly bat them away and start talking to you again, apologizing for breaking your conversation.
Basically, a man who is into you will act like he has all the time in the world to stay in your company.
7. He Easily Makes Time for You (‘Does He Like Me?’…YES!)
When a guy likes you, you’ll be able to tell that he’s fighting to schedule catching up, calling, or going out time with you, even if he happens to be really busy that week.
A man who likes you will subconsciously start prioritizing time to see you, since he won’t want to risk you getting away and forgetting about him.
He’ll also make sure to arrange the next meeting with you and talk about things you could both do together, like seeing a certain movie or trying a particular food place.
8. He Asks About When he’s Going to See You Again
This usually happens after a first conversation, when a guy is already asking what you’re doing after the party, or whether you’ll be at some other upcoming social event.
It’s an obvious sign that he’s making sure he has a way of keeping in touch and guaranteeing another chance to be in your company.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Now you know the signs, you’ll never be left going home wondering what a guy’s intentions are again.
It won’t always be completely obvious from the moment you meet, but if you notice 3-4 of these signs in regular interactions you’ll know that he’s attracted and you can start to feel comfortable investing in him further.
By the way, one you’re further along the line in a relationship, you’ll definitely want to check out my article on how to tell if a guy is in love with you. Make sure you check it out!
Thank you for this… I really needed to read this today… I now have work to do!
No more he loves me, he loves me not… Thanks for this article!
If you have to ask if a guy likes you or is attracted to you-then the answer is NO!
I don’t agree with this list. I’ve had guys do this to me several times–they showed about 7-8 of these signals and some more–e.g. touching, constantly getting physically close to me (not in an obscene way), dropping hints about meeting in the future, enquiring if I had a bf indirectly, asking what kind of guys I find attractive and MUCH more. There wasn’t any player sort of behavior or any inappropriate remarks.
Guess what? They didn’t really like me because I found out later they were taken or that they did this to EVERY girl. Playas all the way!
This list should be called How to Spot a Player.
That kind of puts it in perspective in a way. It can be too easy to look into something that’s not there, especially if you like them.
For the record I didn’t like them. Also, the signs were obvious such that others noticed too. I wasn’t reading into anything.
The truth is that looking for signs is just dumb. If a guy likes you and you’re welcoming, he will make a move and you will know for sure.
No point reading into signs and such. Even if the signs are true, there is nothing you can do about it if the guy is into every other girl as well or has a roving eye.
Hi, I’m wondering if you could help me figure out if this boy in my school hates me or not. To tell you some about me, I’m a girl, I moved to a new town over the summer, and am in high school. I’m very shy (but open up to people once I’ve gotten to know them), introverted, and bookish (if you knew me you might call me a nerd).
The boy is in the grade above mine. He is extraverted and confident, has gotten in trouble with one teacher a couple times and flips off classes sometimes (but he isn’t exactly known as the “bad-boy” type, it’s hard to explain). At lunch today I heard some other kids in his grade talking about what a flirt he is, I don’t know.
Towards the beginning of the school year, he talked and laughed a lot with this one girl in my grade who I will call Kimberly here. Kimberly is confident, pretty, and popular. My school is very small (the grade I’m in only has around 25 kids total), but still she is very popular.
They both sat at the same table as me in this one class, and they were always talking, joking, and teasing each other. It went on for weeks before I got up the courage to pass a note to another girl in the boy’s grade who sat at a different table. My note asked if the boy and Kimberly LIKED each other.
The girl turned around in her seat and looked at me and said flat-out, “Zoe. No.”
I don’t think this girl would lie to me. I’d heard earlier that Kimberly had been asked out by almost every boy in the school at one point, and had turned down all of them. So I didn’t think she had a boyfriend, or wanted one. But then the other girl told me Kimberly didn’t like the boy…why would she have been flirting so much with him then? :(
Ugh I was so confused and jealous. This whole thing has been bothering me for a long time; I still feel that way….
Anyway, one thing I noticed as the weeks went on was how polite the boy acts toward me. He is always saying, “Thank you Zoe,” even if I just open a door for him or pass him a basketball in PE, and he’s apologized just for little things.
One day his shoe touched mine under the desk in two different classes, and both times he said, “Sorry.”
I am sure those were just coincidences though.
Once too we were in History and he turned around in his seat and caught my gaze and stared me straight in the eyes, very hard, it felt like for forever. A few minutes later he turned around in his seat to talk to the boy behind him and did it again. Without blinking, or smiling. It made me so uncomfortable.
That was a while ago. Something different that has started is that every day when I’m waiting at the end of the hallway for the bus to take me home, he walks by on the way to outside and says, “Hi Zoe.”
I say hi back, and he says, “Bye Zoe,” as he walks out.
This has been going on for weeks, practically every day, the same thing.
It’s strange, because in another class he’s supposed to be sitting at a table with me and a couple of other boys, and it’s like he sits at every other table in the room BESIDES that table, talking and laughing and joking with everyone else. He ignores me, in that class. I honestly can’t say I blame him for it, but it still makes me upset.
So my question is: if he hates me, is repulsed by me, just on the basis of me being myself, why at the end of every day would he say hi and bye to me? It isn’t like he has to talk to me. It’s crossed my mind someone put him up to it. I almost asked him once.
What should I do? :( I’m so confused…I have been for a while now.
I never would EVER have guessed that I would like someone here, or want someone to like me, but I do. I just want to know if this boy completely hates me or not. I would haha but…I don’t know.
Well thanks for reading my story, I know it’s pathetic but if you can make anything of it I would be so grateful. And please ask more questions if you need to, about other kids or anything you want.
Ty again, and have a nice day! :)
Hey,
I feel empathetic to your situation because I was the nerdy, studious girl in high school and college. It wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I learned to express my flirty side.
Matt has said it takes two people to make a situation awkward. In other words, if one person is being/acting awkward, the other can set him/her at ease by being relaxed, playful and engaging. I imagine that this guy you wrote about respects you and finds you attractive at some level, but not enough to overcome a sense of awkwardness he may feel around you. Meanwhile, it sounds as if Kimberly is an outgoing social butterfly who talks to anybody and that often gets misread as flirting. Believe it or not, I have become a lot like Kimberly. However, there are still times when I find myself in situations where I’ve lost my confidence. That’s when I try to practice what Matthew describes as warming up and talking to everyone. So, for example, in the class where he’s supposed to sit at your table, start talking with the students who ARE at your table. Recap a funny story from the past week or crack a joke. Focus on getting yourself in a relaxed, approachable state of mind so that when he comes around, you can treat him the same.
All the best to you!
Hi Matt,
loving so much to have your insights! you’re doing an amazing job enlightening our days.
Here it goes, at the moment I’m dating three guys. Which is fun, but the reason why I am doing is because the only guy I really want to date exclusively – so to say, is not interested in anything serious. He just got brokenhearted after a 6-month-relationship. So, I’m moving on quite smoothly but I can’t see much future with these new dudes. I mean, one is too young (24) and is mostly there for my free time – sorry-not-sorry. The other one is a business manager, super duper handsome and well successful, and he hasn’t got that much time for a girlfriend. I mean, I think we might be incompatible in the end anyways – I’m a hard working, messy alternative idealist and he has got a this totally clean flat. Hard to see myself living with someone like that. Finally, there’s this guy my age (28) who’s incredibly sweet and fun, but… he is the roommate of the guy I used to date until 3 months ago. I mean, from my side it’s not that bad, nothing ever happened before between us and there has been ttme after. But from his side, he never asked his friend if he could ask me out (before dating, I didn’t ask again after 3 weeks), and he is known for dating three at a time (as well ;)). Last time he surprised me and took me to a day-trip to the beach. I mean, it was so amazing, I loved it! Well, my situation is sort of I don’t know what to do, cause I like this last guy more and he keeps on finding time for me and doing this sweet things. But, if I choose to invest on him, how can I cope with” that he also broke up last year with his ex? That we will be apart for 2,5 months from Nov on due to our traveling agenda. What can I do not to scare him (I mean, I might have scared the previous dude). And Like, does our past condemns us to no future together? What does his attitude towards his friend say about him?
Thank you for caring.. dear Matt!
Well, the only guys who ever act like this with me are ones already in a relationship. I’ve never understood why I attract guys who aren’t single. I’m. Not. Interested. If you already have a girlfriend, you should be acting like this towards her not me.
Also, I mean, I suppose it helps to know a guy’s mildly interested. But, what am I supposed to do with this information? If he was single, and I was into him, I’d already be flirting with him. If he doesn’t ask me out after I’ve flirted with him on a regular basis then he’s clearly not that into me. If he’s not single but sending signals that he’s interested, I’m just going to question his integrity.
If I’m questioning whether or not he’s into me, honestly, I think the best course of action is to assume that he’s not especially interested in pursuing me or he’d be doing that. What am I missing?
Helt matt.. I was Hoping to get a more specific answer to this.. Because i have a friend like, and he does all these things, but he.. I dont kone og he where attracted to me but he defenetly did’nt Wanted to date me… Even though there happend something between us at a party (where alcohol was Involved) but he do all these things except for two og them, and he is a very shy guy, not very outgoing or flirty. So i hope you Can give me some diffrent answer, a 100 other People has allready made this article. This is the frist time i’m a little disapointed.. Sry. There is a Big difference about Boeing attracted and want to be someonce boyfriend or girlfriend. God luck to you ! Mvh anonym
Hey Matt,
I would like to ask for your advice about my short relationship.
I met online few days ago with a british guy. from his words and treatments to me i could say He was really into me and intended to build any more serious relationship. Its is sounds a little bit ridiculous to you cz we met online and we currently living so far between each other. I live in Indonesia while he is in UK. but I will continue my study in Netherland within 2 months and i have told him about this that made him more into this relationship.
from what i knew, He is not studying in any university, he used to join a rock band and play guitar. and what he is doing now for living is only playing guitar on the street. While me, I pursue my study into the best school i could get. and my parents had put my mindset to prioritize education than any other. He also used to be in a rehab for drinking and weed user also suicide. He was kind of a silent boy that would prefer be home with his dogs and cats than out to a party.
We had quite intense conversations within 2 days full and i felt like I’m into him already. We kind of felt sleep together on Skype, he watch me praying, played guitar, singing, cooking, eating, like literally doing almost everything with Skype on. until he blocked all communication media we used (Skype and whatsapp) suddenly. I have no idea what was going on. Is it possible that he was just played me ? or he turned off by anything i have done or my physical looks ?
Last night we had a call I actually asked him what his plan in the future since he does not have any willingness to work, even to play guitar in a cafe, all he’d done was only get relax and live in his mom’s house. he said he would like met someone and live together. thats all. I would like to ask you, was that question probably hurt him so he felt defensive and left me ?
What should I do now ? I actually wouldn’t let go any open relationship like this. I feels like i have to finish this. Since I have his numbers, my sudden reaction at the time was calling him with Skype credit but he didn’t answer it. I also had left him some message asking why would he done this to me and my apologise to him of some offensive questions i didn’t meant to.
Its been 4 days from that incident and I don’t know what else should I do. I was thinking of leaving him a voice mail, but should I do that ?
I really look forward for your reply soon. I would appreciate your help so much. Thank You,
Regards,
Sania Helmi
For anyone stuck for some time hoping a guy they like, likes them back, I highly recommend this excellent post which should help you to let go and move on.
It’s not easy to take on board (I’ve been there!) but Matt is spot on as ever.
http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/crush-your-scarcity-mindset/
See I don’t it is just this clear cut. sometimes when a guy really likes you. he gets nervous. You say yourself. Guys are terrified of meeting a girl they really like. Sometimes they run away because they like you. I say sure some of these are true. but I would rethink this list since your opinions tend to be a bit different from the norm and I feel this list is too normal. everyone puts out lists like these.
There is a coworker that I had a crush on. We worked together for two years as P.E. coaches in a school. He approached me first and quickly gave me his number. He told me he was going through a divorce. After three dates, he started acting flaky. But continuously flirted with me at work but never called me after work. I told him to basically lose my number until he actually got the divorce. The more I ignored him at work, the more he flirted with me on the down low AT WORK…so I thought he must still be married or interested in some one else. Well since I have changed schools and I have been dating guys and he suddenly calls me after 6 months…I was excited to hear from him but I was with a guy who I wasnt interested in. Well to make a long story short he’s still showing flaky signs and I still like him and wonder what’s really going on. I don’t know why I still like this guy other than physical attraction…he continues to sporadically texts me again but doesn’t ask me out. I have labeled him in my phone as “FLAKY” and have stopped responding to him bu I cant stop thinking and fantasizing about how good we could be together…Am I going crazy or am I just another beautiful single lady desperately seeking companionship of 44 years young who still get approached by a lot of men just not who I want…HELP!!
For me, it’s also about whether they ask meaningful questions which are more personal getting-to-know-you questions than generic ones to pass the time. I’m talking about when you meet a guy who’s only after sex versus a guy who’s genuinely interested in you as a romantic prospect. I like the romance behind “when can I see you again?” as opposed to a man’s attempts to get you to go back to his flat with him.
After learning the tips from Matt and Steve, I now have no problem attracting men. (Thank you!) However, as Matt has said in a video before, we are going to attract MEN IN GENERAL, both good and not so good.
My question is, is there a better way to spot the not-so-good guys and avoid getting involved further with them? Aka the red flags to look for.
I have a guy fallen head over heels for me, but I think he comes off as rather narcissistic. He seems to have many nice qualities (chivalry, manners, intellect, values, career-driven), but he talks about himself too much and doesn’t show much interest in getting to know me. Makes me wonder if this is narcissistic behavior or immaturity in love.
These people are not narcissistic if they exhibit those nice qualities.
I am like this person. I like to talk about myself to open up conversation for you to talk about yourself freely. I want to know what you are openly/willingly able to tell me without being asked. Is it what you tell others? Etc.
I think asking questions to someone is prying. You should be willing to just say what’s on your mind freely. Although I will usually answer any question I’ve been asked.
We’re not narcissists
Hi, so i’ve been ‘dating’ this guy for the past month and a half. We went on this amazing first date and then he had to go away for work for 3 weeks or so. Since then we’ve spoken everyday, he cares about my current predicaments, i have seen him once and he has told me how he feels about me but he hasn’t made a proactive effort to set up another date.
This means he’s not that interested, right? I am going to move on if he doesn’t take me out again, but i’m also quick to dismiss someone. so i don’t want to be hasty . What do you think?
Hi, I am totally confused by this man in my life. I first met him 3+ years ago. I went out with a friend and he was the bar man that served us. The minute I saw him, the chemistry was insane between us, we even had a (dare I say it) time stood still moment , where we just locked eyes and smiled. He ended up flirting with me all night and asking for my number. Good sign right? He even phoned me to make sure it was the right number, I am assuming, or maybe so that I could have his number too and therefore could be in the driving seat. Either way it was all going well, until I stupidly mentioned who my ex partner was. I don’t know why i brought him up, probably due to the drink. I knew straight away id made a mistake – this guy was like my dream guy and I was sat there mentioning an ex boyfriend to him. Any how, trying to leave the embarrssent aside and after hours of my friend saying I should just be brave and text him first, I text him the next day. Funnily enough no reply
Skip 3 years and he has started working where I work. To say it’s awkward is an understatement. It was a shock to see him there , but gave me the same butterflies in my tummy as before. I’m not sure if he likes me? Or if it’s in my head. He looks at me quite a lot, sometimes when he’s talking he looks straight in my eyes, and holds the look for a few seconds. I have noticed he tries to act very on point and driven about his work, in front of me. He’s offered me in jumper when I was cold and always seem to find an excuse to come close to me to ask for something ie office supplies. He calls me ”mate” which confuses the hell out of me! I noticed one morning after not seeing him for a week , his voice sounded excited that I was at work. We have both changed a bit in the last few years, not much, but a little bit of extra podge. I guess what I’m asking is, if he was attracted to me back then do you think he is still attracted to me now? Is there any chance you think he is insecure, maybe thinking I fancied him back then but not now ( which is so not the case)
I’ve liked this guy for a while. See him sometimes in work. I got one of my co-workers to ask he if was single and he said yes. He has been for years. He was asked if he would go on a date with me. And he said too give him a few days too think about it? As I have dine this but he hasn’t said anything else. What should I do.
Hi, I’ve known my guy friend for the past six years about. We’re close friends, we hug everytime we part ways (sometimes even gently rubs my back whilst hugging), sometimes we even hug during the time we spend together and once hugged in front of other people that we both know. We make and keep eye contact during conversation, even stared at me twice before, we listen attentively to each other, remember things that the other one has said, during sport practice we would regularly give lingering hi-5’s, he would even carry my sportsbag for me without me having to ask him to, he would from time to time gently rub my back whilst sitting or standing next to me, and i will respond by doing the same. Mostly other ladies have asked me, not him, as to whether he are an item or even go as far as asking whether he is my husband! I must say that makes me wonder what do they see that I’m obviously missing. He recently used the phrase “my dear” and “my girl” during phone conversation, another time send me a text starting with “morning beautiful”. When I told him I’ll be out of town he wanted to know for how long I plan on being away and asked why I’ve got to go out of town. He even recently told me that maybe I’ll meet the man of my dreams when I’m out of town and even suggested taking leave coming to visit me where I’ll be, which will create the opportunity of also seeing my parents and sister again as he have met them before. So what is your take on all of this?
Yes, Emily Gourdin Bischoff I love you.
None of these EVER happen to me…..NEVER….
I’ve known my guy friend for 7 years he knows everything about me and I know everything about him. But here this past few months he’s been acting different. He’s getting more touchy, he’s tickling me more than normal, always finds a reason to touch me or my hands, I’ve caught him staring at my face and I’ve also caught him staring at my body. And now he’s starting to holler more at me to get my attention when I walk by repeatedly. He even start to sit closer to me, so there isn’t literally no space between us. I don’t know what to do or if he’s flirting and trying to tell me and I’m just not realizing it…Can you please help me??
Reply May 29, 2017, 1:21 am
lol he likes you. He’s probably liked you for a while, and is starting to make moves now. I wouldn’t say anything though, until he does, just in case you’re wrong. Unless you like him too, and then go for it.